Why I'm Selling My Entire Shoe Collection
*disclaimer* Ok not selling my entire collection, but like 97%...
Well, helloooooooooooooooo!!! It's been a while since I've made a post. Maybe you knew that already and maybe you had no clue, but anyway...
The main reason I haven't posted is because two years ago (April 2016) I had a lower back injury that was very painful and left me unable to sit, work out, bend, and much more. If I moved in the wrong direction by a centimeter I would faint and wake up on the floor. Basically life was put on hold. Then one year ago (April 2017) the injury became severe and I became numb from my waist down. I had an emergency surgery that left me with a limp, relearning how to walk, getting feeling back in my legs and hips, not allowed to bend, lift, twist, be active, and basically was healing for another year. Now, I just passed the one year mark after surgery, and although I am much better I still have a ways to go until 100%, but it is in sight. In the past year, I went through a lot of struggle with myself. I had to disconnect my attachment to friends and family I cared a lot about but I learned did not care about me. I had to face fears. I had to take care of myself with little to no support. I had to overcome the trauma of it all, depression, deep sadness. I had to confront myself about where my life was heading in terms of career. And when I could no longer do the things that made me the happiest, I had to look deep within myself and reconsider why I was so attached to certain identities I had created for myself. One of the biggest identities being shoes.
Don't get me wrong, I still have a passion for shoes and I know that will never go away. I always had the passion since I've been a child, and becoming a footwear designer is still one of my favorite accomplishments. But I started to lose the happiness from it even before my injury because of how the game has changed for the worse.
Specifically more in the sneaker world, it used to be that someone would buy shoes because they loved how it looked, or there was a personal story behind it for the person (much like a souvenir from a vacation would be), or it fit their unique style. But more and more those reasons were fading. It became all about status. The thought behind this is that if you were wearing a certain shoe co-signed by a celebrity or brand or whatever, that made you a somebody. Then you deserved to be treated better. Others would see you differently. So you had to have it. I started learning about kids skipping school to wait in line, chaos in the lines that led people to getting hurt or dying, spending money that was more likley supposed to be for spent on basic survival like putting food on the table. In the meantime, the shoes that were being purchased were lower quality and more expensive. What a joke. It became more about your image and what you have, rather then your soul and what you wore as a reflection of who you were. And so the magic of it slowly dissipated. Because I'm all about the soul and what pieces are put together to make someone who they are. The connection of it all...
The main thing I wanted to do with shoeQUEENDOM was to get a message across to women to be themselves. The way I was able to do that for myself was through shoes, and I wanted to spread that. It is what I knew best. This was at a time when sneakers were still considered extremely masculine, and women were not feminine if they weren't wearing heels. But I loved heels too. So the other thing I wanted to share was how to choose the right heels for you without feeling like you want to die after an hour wearing them. Both of these points bringing together the opposites into one, sneakers and heels. Overall, I don't feel like I was able to get my message across because I overthought everything. But on the same note I was running it all on my own and I didn't have any support. So I felt like a failure. I also refused to do anything out of my moral code to get ahead, for example sleeping with someone at the top, kissing someones ass (being fake), asking for favors, being someone I'm not.... Or, even instagramming why I'm "worthy", which celeb I'm hanging with, showing off my shoe collection, etc. So, maybe that was why I didn't get ahead, or maybe I got in my own way, I don't really know.
But the whole point of this was that recently, although extremely difficult and still working through it, I realized I AM NOT my massive shoe collection anymore. Most all my shoes have a memory or story attached to them, and I still think that's such a cool way of remembering your own journey or timeline of your life. But many of these memories I don't need or want anymore. It doesn't serve me to remember them. They now just feel like a heavy weight on my shoulders and perfectly organized clutter and I'm ready for some clarity. I've grown older, my tastes have changed, my thoughts have changed, my wants have changed. So why hold on? For the sake of collecting?
So. If you would like to buy any of my shoes, I have a lot listed on my poshmark page, and this weekend I plan to list the rest (gd help me). (Also if anyone wants to come over to my place in Hollywood and help me please reach out! I will provide the food and champagne! haha). I also have listed a ton of clothing, accessories, jewelry, you name it. I'm getting rid of practically everything.
I also have a bunch of it listed on Mercari, Tradesy, etc... All of it is mostly priced higher to leave room for negotiation, so just message me or make an offer. I'll post all links below. Looking to get through it all fast!
In terms of the blog, I hope to still get it somewhere one day. I just know I can't do it on my own and that it needs to be restructured in a way that makes more sense and is better communicated. Putting that good juju out there for someone who believes in my vision and wants to be a great, flourishing, successful, and impactful team :) Hopefully soon :)
Big hug, y'all!
INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/shoequeendom - any shoes you see on my instagram, just tag me and ask if available and I can sell directly or link you.
Last note: In the past I would read over my posts 1,001 times re-editing every little thing and making sure my point was coming across like I wanted it to. It was exhausting. So I think it's important to note that I am proud of myself right now for not doing that this time around, and just being with what is. I wrote it, looked over it for errors, so tempted to edit/add more, but just posting instead. Ain't nerrrbody perfect! So yay for progress :)