[ E Y E • R O L L ] The Dumbest Article I've Ever Read

The biggest thing I hate about browsing Facebook or other social media is the 1,000,000,000 endless articles about "Why you shouldn't do that.." - "You're single because this.." - "Why you are horrible at everything" - "How to make him/her love you" - "Why you're wrong about thinking this way.." - BASICALLY A WHOLE BUNCH OF "SHAME ON YOU FOR BEING HUMAN!" Ughhhh, go away!! F that noise!! Amirite?!?!

So imagine my surprise when I came across an article about shoes that is literally the dumbest sh*t I have ever read, and realized that it heated me even more than said titles above. Well maybe you can't imagine it, but yea, I couldn't believe I would hate a shoe article even more (I'm a lover not a fighter, lol).

I guess websites would do anything for a click nowadays, and one of those websites includes Brightside.me with their article "This is why celebrities wear shoes that are too big for them." (I refuse to link it, ew.)

Allow me to address this article point by point... Direct quotes:

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“In fact, many Hollywood stars deliberately choose to grace the red carpet wearing heels that are too long or too wide for them. They just know a simple secret: by doing so, they will prevent their feet from swelling and forming blisters.”

— Brightside.me

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Umm, NO. First of all, wearing heels that are too big will not prevent blisters, it will prevent them from WALKING which is something they don't need to do because they are literally standing in front of a camera and posing. 

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“After all, celebrities have to wear high heels for hours — sometimes all night. Obviously, their feet will swell.”

— Brightside.me

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Negative! Celebrities are not on their feet for hours, that's a perk of being Hollywood royalty. They stand on the red carpet for a few minutes, get photos taken of their outfit, hair, and makeup that took them the last few hours to get together, and then they're done. Of course, this is not all cases. So let's say for whatever reason they do need to be on their feet for hours... They are wearing high end, pure leather, perfectly crafted designer shoes! They're good, boo boo.

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“To avoid foot pain, discomfort, and chronic foot issues later in life, celebrities choose to wear shoes that are at least a size too big for them. Moreover, large pumps or sandals won’t rub, pinch, or squeeze because they don’t put pressure on the most vulnerable areas of the feet.”

— Brightside.me

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OMG. I can't. I CAN'T EVEN!!! Celebs don't choose to wear shoes that are too big for them, just like any sane woman in the world wouldn't choose to. They have no choice but to wear them sometimes given the fact that everything they are wearing are samples from different brands vying to have a celeb be photographed in their product! Sometimes the shoe don't fit but it goes with the outfit, honey!

Also: won't rub or pinch? Umm, you will be sliding so hard into that pump, each one of your toes would individually curse your life.

The funniest part about this quote though is "AT LEAST a size too big for them." LOL! Ok so I'm a size 6, I'm gonna go ahead and get myself a size 9 for EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA comfort. *Major eye roll*

From the comments section of the article, a user named Biba writes, "Wearing bigger size shoes hurts a thousand times more then right fit! The friction is double and on all points of contact.... the less a shoe moves around your feet the less friction: basic physics." Well said, Beebs!

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“To keep shoes that are too large from slipping off the feet at the worst possible moment, stylists just put silicone pads inside the pumps. This simple trick ensures that the shoe fits snugly but stays on the foot, does not restrict blood circulation, and stops feet from swelling.”

— Brightside.me

No words. Except for OH.MY.GAWD.GET.THE.EFF.OUT.OF.HERE!!!

What angers me the most about this whole article is the fact that it's so obvious to me the writer has no clue what he/she is talking about. Yet readers may believe it. I get emails all the time from randoms saying they will write me "guest posts" for a kick back or a couple bucks or something. This is exactly one of those articles. Oof.

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“Double-sided tape is another secret tool used by celebrities. It also helps too-big shoes stay on your feet all night long.”

— Brightside.me

Yo, I can't even get double sided tape to stay sticking on my boob to avoid a nip-slip, you think your sweaty ass foot is gonna hold up?

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“Of course, most often celebrities wear pumps that don’t fit properly with maxi dresses when the hem covers the shoes. However, today this trick has almost become a trend, so a lot of Hollywood stars don’t even bother to hide their little secret from the public.”

— Brightside.me

BYE FELICIA! OR PERSON WHO WRITES BULLSHIT PROBABLY FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD JUST TO MAKE A BUCK. RUINING SHOE LIFE FOR INNOCENT PEOPLE! SHEEEEIIIIITTTTTTT.... (lol)

WOO SAHHH. OK. I'LL CALM DOWN. But if you ever read an article that you think might be misinformation about shoes, let me know. I WILL set the record straight. Or do the research to figure out the truth. Or be too lazy to write about it. I dunno. Up to you though. xx, Tina